Thursday 6 May 2010

For I Think I Lost Direction When You Threw Me Out Of Bed

I jumped out of bed yesterday morning and shook Shawn awake in one fluid motion. "It's 8 o'clock-I'm late-I have to shower-can you please deal with the dogs" I shouted as I ran out of the bedroom. He mumbled something sleepily in reply but I didn't hear him; I was already in the bathroom. I was furiously rinsing suds out of my hair when Shawn poked his head around the shower curtain. "Baby," he said gently, "it's quarter to seven. You don't need to rush." I rarely remember my dreams so when I do I have a hard time differentiating between them and real life. I dreamt that I was an hour late so when I woke up, I woke up in a panic and didn't stop to think.

Yesterday was rough. My mom had surgery in the morning and my brother jumped out of a plane (in Hawaii!) in the afternoon. The two events had nothing to do with each other; it was just an unfortunate coincidence that they happened on the same day. It's not surprising that that I woke up the way that I did. It's also not surprising that I spent the day in a similar state of frenetic energy. It's days like yesterday that make me realize how deeply my life is affected by my anxiety. There were times yesterday when I wasn't functioning because I was too busy envisioning a freak gust of wind carrying my brother out to shark-infested waters or other macabre scenarios.

I'm happy to report that everyone is alive and well. My mom's surgery went well and she is expected to be released from the hospital tomorrow and my brother managed to skydive without being eaten by sharks.

And I woke up at the correct time today and hit the snooze button a few times for good measure.

10 comments:

  1. I am glad the surgery went well and everyone is alive and that today began without panic.

    I see the wind-shark scenario as highly likely, so I am particularly glad that he survived.

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  2. I think the Canucks took one for your family. Their loss was your gain (or something like that...). =)

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  3. This morning I woke up from a dream where I went to a diner with all of my friends for breakfast. Thus? The rest of my day has been a miserable letdown.

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  4. So glad all parties made it through the day and the surgery went well.

    I hope your weekend is nice and relaxing to help make up for the crazy day!

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  5. Oh, I HATE waking up all disoriented.

    Glad is all well with your Momma and bro. :)

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  6. So happy everyone was safe and okay. I don't remember my dreams all that often either, but I do happen to keep having a recurring one about my teeth all crumbling and falling out and I ALWAYS wake up in a panic rushing to the mirror with my heart racing!! I should just post a sign by my bed or something. YOU HAVE TEETH. :)

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  7. Very, very glad that everyone is ok!

    Have you thought anymore about going to see someone about your anxiety, or do you think you will wait until after the sleep clinic?

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  8. Glad everyone is safe! The thought of my brother sky diving gives me heart palpitations!

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  9. I'd be on edge all day if that had happened to me. At least you weren't late but STILL!

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  10. Breath, lady, breath! Take a minute with some hot chocolate, some puppies, and some kisses. You deserve it!

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